60 Minutes

I’m here.

I’m outside the train station, parked up, with less than an hour to go before Le Spaniard is due to arrive.

Thought I’d update you, and give you a snapshot of my feelings right now.

I’m petrified. My heart is is going “Bom-bom-bom-bom-bom-bom” in my chest. My breath is shaky. My hands are clammy. My legs feel like lead and I am really jumpy. 

This is a regular feeling I get when I am due to see Le Spaniard. I wish I knew what it meant. I know I’m excited, nervous, anticipating the time I am able to spend with him, but sometimes I worry: what will we speak about? Will it go well? Will he fall for me just that little bit more in the next 26 hours?

Le Spaniard played a cruel joke on me last night. At 10pm, he told me he wouldn’t come to see me today, because he thought it was for the best: I live too far away, and that he had accepted the job offer in Madrid that he’d originally refused. 

I was absolutely gut wrenched. My poor abdominal muscles twisted up that much it hurt me and I got rather upset. We had a phone conversation. I told him I was looking at jobs in Manchester, I was looking at houses in Manchester etc. 

It made me realise how much I am actually falling for this man, which scared me even more. I didn’t want him to leave. 

I asked him “how do you feel about me?”

He told me that I was amazing, and I was kind and the perfect girlfriend. To which I echoed:

“Girlfriend?”

He said yes. I asked:

“I’m your girlfriend?”

He agreed again… so I said:

“So ehh does this girlfriend get to see her boyfriend?”

He replied:

“I don’t know, maybe in Madrid?”

I felt so upset.

But eventually he agreed to come today.

We put the phone down and as soon as he did, I got a message saying:

“I should be an actor, you actually bought that!”

What a git. 

Now, I’m sitting in my car waiting for my legs to work so that I can make my way to the station, grab a couple of cappuccinos and take a walk to the platform mi amore is arriving at. 

Better start working on that, his train arrives in less than half hour, whoops! 

Until next time, it’s been a pleasure, Treasure!

Elle 

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