I’m outside the train station, parked up, with less than an hour to go before Le Spaniard is due to arrive.
Thought I’d update you, and give you a snapshot of my feelings right now.
I’m petrified. My heart is is going “Bom-bom-bom-bom-bom-bom” in my chest. My breath is shaky. My hands are clammy. My legs feel like lead and I am really jumpy.
This is a regular feeling I get when I am due to see Le Spaniard. I wish I knew what it meant. I know I’m excited, nervous, anticipating the time I am able to spend with him, but sometimes I worry: what will we speak about? Will it go well? Will he fall for me just that little bit more in the next 26 hours?
Le Spaniard played a cruel joke on me last night. At 10pm, he told me he wouldn’t come to see me today, because he thought it was for the best: I live too far away, and that he had accepted the job offer in Madrid that he’d originally refused.
I was absolutely gut wrenched. My poor abdominal muscles twisted up that much it hurt me and I got rather upset. We had a phone conversation. I told him I was looking at jobs in Manchester, I was looking at houses in Manchester etc.
It made me realise how much I am actually falling for this man, which scared me even more. I didn’t want him to leave.
I asked him “how do you feel about me?”
He told me that I was amazing, and I was kind and the perfect girlfriend. To which I echoed:
He said yes. I asked:
“I’m your girlfriend?”
He agreed again… so I said:
“So ehh does this girlfriend get to see her boyfriend?”
“I don’t know, maybe in Madrid?”
I felt so upset.
But eventually he agreed to come today.
We put the phone down and as soon as he did, I got a message saying:
“I should be an actor, you actually bought that!”
What a git.
Now, I’m sitting in my car waiting for my legs to work so that I can make my way to the station, grab a couple of cappuccinos and take a walk to the platform mi amore is arriving at.
Better start working on that, his train arrives in less than half hour, whoops!
Until next time, it’s been a pleasure, Treasure!