Hi everyone and welcome back!
Today I’m going to share something a little different with you. I’m going to share my weight loss/dieting history and results etc.
The inspiration comes from lying in bed last night feeling bloated as hell and unhappy with the way by body was looking lately, and suddenly realising I had to do something about it right now. I’m talking 1.30am last night. But anyway. I’m going to take you back about 16 years ago, when I was in high school.
I was one of those teens that stopped growing when I was 11/12 at 5foot nothing, and then started slowly filling out from there on. I was an awkward teenager at 12-13, embarrassed of my body and chose to cover up wearing grimace worthy massive granny pants that my mum would cringe at when she hung out the washing, huge t-shirts that I hoped would hide my boobs.
At 14-15 I began to compare my body to my friends’. Why wasn’t I taller? Why didn’t I have long slender legs to “there”? Why was I short and shapely (or in my eyes at the time, dumpy)? Why didn’t certain clothes fit me properly? It was around then I realised that hiding my body wasn’t fooling anyone: I was turning into a woman.
I looked to a classmate of mine that I decided had the body shape I wanted. She was a dancer and super popular; around 5foot 7 and slender, thick glossy brown hair chopped into layers, perfect teeth, perfect skin, dimples in her cheeks, lovely long, slight hourglass figure: not too thin. She was a serious clothes horse: even our school uniform fitted her like a glove, looking casual-chic in hipster boot cut trousers (hey this is the early 00’s remember!) with no muffin top, no VPL and a slight shimmer clung to her shape, flat ballet shoes peeking out at the bottom, ladylike mock-croc book bag casually slung over her shoulder.
And then I took stock of myself: 5foot, generally slim but curvy, blonde hair with layers, skin that kept breaking out on my cheeks no matter what I did, decent teeth… but my uniform was 3 sizes too big (at my request) and my slightly too short straight leg trousers with a crease down the front bagging off me, and awful, awful kickers lace up shoes. Ad on a massive black Adidas coat with 3 blue stripes down the side and a battered Nike rucksack.
I wanted to change; if I was going to be a woman, I wanted to at least look like one. So, setting my dancer classmate as my school icon, I bought some hipsters with a bootcut trouser, a new school uniform sweater that actually fit, some of those seriously massive flatform shoes that were popular back then (good for me what needed the additional 5 inches!), a very small, structured shoulder bag that required me to hold my school folders, a-la Cher Horowitz (Clueless); In fact, it was around that time that I first watched Clueless and it was my go-to film for everything, for around 2 years until discovered Legally Blonde. Anyway, lastly, I shocked my parents big time by suddenly binning all of my granny pants (much to my mums relief), and only wearing thongs.
It was when I was 15 that I really wanted to change my body shape, and although I walked to school, around school and back home from school every day, I participated in PE at school, Table Tennis 3 or 4 times a week and did aerobics a couple of times a week, I still felt “dumpy” (even though I was only a size 8-10 UK size). I switched my lunch at school to Slim fast Shakes and had fruit in my lunch container, much to the amusement and confusion of everyone around me.
I felt that the slim fast shakes kept me trim and energised throughout the afternoon, keeping the jitters at bay until I got home from school to my mums roast dinner.
After I finished school and I begun to drive, I drove to work, I drove to college, I drove to the shops… exercise didn’t really feature high on my list until I was 18 and I met one of my friends, who was around my height but again, very outgoing, stylish, exciting. I idolised her.
As a result, own style and body was again, put under scrutiny by myself and I put myself under immense pressure to become thinner. I’m not proud to say that I starved myself over the weekends and stuck to 3 small meals during the weekdays, cutting out bread completely.
My friend and I went partying together almost every night for a couple of years, until her heart was broken by a boy and she ran off to the ships to work as a beautician for a few years.
I’m sure the partying was something to do with my fabulous size 6/8 UK size figure, because at 22, I left home, met a man who seriously broke my heart and pushed me over the edge to this amazing thing called microwave popcorn. I would eat 3 bags of it a night. I would eat Chinese takeaway, chicken and chips, McDonald’s, KFC, biscuits, chocolate… anything to try and comfort eat. As you can imagine, my poor body blew up to a size 12/14 UK size, and for around 3 years I lived in denial. At 25, I had an opening of a club to attend, and my friends and I spent around a week picking out dresses, tanning, getting our nails and hair done… I remember feeling fabulous, so fabulous, that I decided now would be the perfect time to step on the scales… and feeling so upset that I spent all evening hiding from the photographers at the event.
The very next day, I grabbed all of the food from my cupboards and threw them all away, replacing my crisps and chips and chocolate with Special K.
For 9 months I lived on 30g Special K with skimmed milk twice a day. I lost 3 stone and felt amazing again.
When I did start to come off the diet, I ballooned once more, much to my dismay.
For 3 more years my weight creeped up again, and then I found Juice Plus, which made me lose all of the weight again in 8 months. It was then I met Le Spaniard and my very controlled diet couldn’t be sustained due to our love of eating out and indulgence.
In the last 6 months I’ve piled on 1.5 stone and although I’m so so happy with Le Spaniard, I am not so happy with my weight. Losing my job twice might have had something to do with it, but even after I’d found the great job I’m in now, I am still in bad habits.
I would begin the day well with my first Juice Plus Shake, and then come lunchtime I’d shun the shake I’d prepared that morning for lunch, and make a beeline for the local shop to buy 2 bags of crisps and a large chocolate bar.
Then I’d get home and decide to have a Chinese or McDonald’s instead.
Which brings us to last night.
I’d started the day so well yesterday: Juice Plus for breakfast, I’d even had my 2nd Shake of the day for my lunch… but on the drive home at 5pm, I was wondering what food I could have, and decided as I’d been so good that day, id have a bag of chips from the fish and chip shop.
Getting into bed at 10.30pm last night I told myself yet again, something has to change, I have to sort my diet out. I couldn’t sleep. I felt like my thoughts were changing, I was starting to feel that stubborn feeling that I get when I make a decision and am gearing myself up to fight for it.
And at 1.30am, I found myself standing in the 24 hour Tesco a few miles from me, among the vitamins and supplements aisle, clutching the following:
- Forza Slenderbind
- Protein World Hunger Busters
- Tetley Detox Tea
- Tesco Ultra Slim Meal Replacement Shakes
- Dextro Energy Tabs
I took 2 Forza Slenderbind tablets last night and went to sleep. This morning I feel determined, and my stomach was feeling less bloated than last night, but still happily full. I took 2 more Forza Slenderbind tablets this morning, as well as 2 Protein World Hunger Busters and a cup of Tetlet Detox Tea half hour before I ate my Special K Breakfast. I’m still full, which is great! It doesn’t make you feel as though it is an “I’m so tired I’m going to take a nap” type of full… it almost feels synthetic (which it is). Either way, it’s making me not be able to eat so much, which I am happy about 🙂
I’ll keep you posted my my thoughts and routine soon!
And as always, it’s been a pleasure, treasure!